Added: Kariann Edgar - Date: 15.07.2021 19:43 - Views: 13936 - Clicks: 8124
In established relationships, humor can keep things exciting, fresh, and vibrant. It can also help you get past conflicts, disagreements, and the tiny aggravations that can build up over time and wreck even the strongest of bonds. Sharing the pleasure of humor creates a sense of intimacy and connection between two people—qualities that define solid, successful relationships.
When you laugh with one another, you create a positive bond between you. This bond acts as a strong buffer against stress, disagreements, disappointments, and bad patches in a relationship. And laughter really is contagious—just hearing someone laugh primes you to smile and in the fun. Form a stronger bond with other people. Your health and happiness depend, to a large degree, on the quality of your relationships—and laughter binds people together. Smooth over differences.
Using gentle humor often helps you address even the most sensitive issues, such as sex or in-laws. Diffuse tension. A well-timed joke can ease a tense situation and help you resolve disagreements. Overcome problems and setbacks.
A sense of humor is the key to resilience. It helps you take hardships in stride, weather disappointment, and bounce back from adversity and loss. Put things into perspective. Most situations are not as bleak as they appear when looked at from a playful and humorous point of view.
Humor can help you reframe problems that might otherwise seem overwhelming and damage a relationship. Be more creative. Humor and playfulness can loosen you up, energize your thinking, and inspire you. Conflict is an inevitable part of all relationships. It may take the form of major discord between the two of you or simply petty aggravations that have built up over time. Either way, how you manage conflict can often determine the success of your relationship.
When conflict and disagreement throw a wrench in your relationship, humor and playfulness can help lighten the tension and restore a sense of connection.
Used respectfully, a little lighthearted humor can quickly turn conflict and tension into an opportunity for shared fun and intimacy. For example:. Alex is retired, but he still goes up on the roof to clean the gutters. His wife, Angie, has told him numerous times that it scares her when he uses the ladder. This embarrasses Lori, makes her husband defensive, and often means a pleasant evening ends with an argument.
Humor—free of hurtful sarcasm or ridicule—neutralizes conflict by helping you:. Interrupt the power struggle, instantly easing tension and allowing you to reconnect and regain perspective. Be more spontaneous. Shared laughter and play helps you break free from rigid ways of thinking and behaving, allowing you to see the problem in a new way and find a creative solution. Be less defensive.
In playful settings, we hear things differently and can tolerate learning things about ourselves that we otherwise might find unpleasant or even painful. Let go of inhibitions. Laughter opens us up, freeing us to express what we truly feel and allowing our deep, genuine emotions to rise to the surface. Like any tool, humor can be used in negative as well as positive ways. Making snide, hurtful remarks, for example, then criticizing the other person for not being able to take a joke will create even more problems and ultimately damage a relationship.
Humor can only help you overcome conflict when both parties are in on the joke. Lately, Kevin has taken to sleeping at the far edge of the bed, a solution that distances them as a couple. Humor should be equally fun and enjoyable for everyone involved. When you use humor and playfulness as a cover for other emotions, you create confusion and mistrust in your relationships. The following are examples of misplaced humor:.
Mike is a constant jokester. Nothing ever seems to get him down and he never takes anything seriously. No matter what happens to him or to anyone else, he makes a joke out of the situation. Sharon is often jealous and possessive with her boyfriend John, but she has never learned to openly discuss her insecurities and fears.
Instead, she uses what she thinks is humor to express her feelings. Instead of laughing, he often responds with a quiet coldness or withdrawal. Some find it easier than others to use humor, especially in tense situations. Monitor nonverbal cues. Does their smile seem fake or forced? Are they leaning away from you or leaning towards you, encouraging you to continue? Avoid mean-spirited humor. It may work for some comedians on stage, but used one-on-one, it will not only fall flat but may also damage your relationship.
Saying something hurtful or insulting, even when framed as a joke, may alienate the other person and weaken the bond between you. Create inside jokes. An inside joke is something that only the two of you understand. It can often be reduced to a word or short phrase that reminds you both of a funny incident or amusing story, and is usually guaranteed to generate a smile or laugh from the other person.
Even if the joke falls flat or comes out wrong, the only person you risk offending is yourself. Do you find it hard to joke around or loosen up? You can relearn this quality. Start by identifying the things you enjoy that border on fun or playful. For example, you may like to:. After you recognize playful things you already enjoy, you can try to incorporate them into your relationships.
The important thing is to find enjoyable activities that loosen you up and help you embrace your playful nature with other people. The more you joke, play, and laugh—the easier it becomes. Play with animals. Puppies, kittens, and other animals—both young and old—are eager playmates and always ready to frolic. Volunteer to care for pets at a shelter or rescue group, stop to play with a friendly animal in your neighborhood, or consider getting a pet of your own.
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